Meet My Monster!

The longer I live, the more I conclude that I must be the most selfish person alive. To be safe, I’ll say that at least one other person on the planet is more selfish than I am, but that’s just to avoid a sweeping generalization. You can go ahead and assume that I’m the most selfish person you know.

My Selfish Monster has done a great job of disguising herself for most of my life, though. You see, I’m not selfish with my stuff. If I’ve loaned you something, I don’t mind if you forgot to bring it back. If you want something I have, I’ll gladly give it to you.

And I’m not selfish with my money. I once gave $100 to a guy I knew was swindling me. I’m a sucker for sob stories and good causes.

I’m certainly not selfish with my words (he he). What I mean to say, is that I’m generally not selfish with my talents. I know what I’m good at and I love finding opportunities to share my gifts with others.

You can see how easily I have convinced myself that I don’t have a Selfish Monster?


The problem is, you can’t be tempted to be selfish about things that don’t matter to you. Just like you can’t call yourself brave to fight a battle that you know you’ll win. If there’s no sacrifice in your giving, then there’s no selflessness in it, either.
I’ve come to recognize my selfishness in the areas that I look out for myself instead of someone else, when I seek my own good above the need of another. And that trait is evident in just about everything I do.

I plan my day according to what I want to get done.
I cook meals according to what I want to eat.
I drive to stores that I want to visit.
I spend time with people that I prefer to be with.
I pursue activities that I enjoy doing.
I fill my calendar with people, events, to-do’s, and pursuits that suit my interests and serve my needs. I avoid interruptions, projects, and people that conflict with my goals for me.

I don’t care about holding on to material possessions or money and I believe that talents are meant for the good of others. So it doesn’t really cost me anything to give those things away. The real challenge is believing that I’m not here to please myself.

Put another way, do I believe that my life is not about me?

I claim to follow a God named Jesus. A God who willingly put aside all the power of his omnipresent being in order to walk in human flesh, with human limitations (like hunger, sleep, and even the temptation to be selfish). Instead of showing off his greatness and expecting people to worship him, Jesus humbly, quietly, sometimes even secretly, served people. He served them to death.

Jesus had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Instead, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—a criminal’s death —a crucifixion.

If this Christ now truly lives in me, then I can only regard myself in the same way that Jesus thought of himself. Rather than run my life in selfishness and conceit, I must take on the humility of Christ and consider others as more important than myself. I am compelled to care about others as much as I care about myself.

And I care about myself A LOT. But Jesus cares about me - Jesus cares for me - a whole lot more than that. Which is why I am able to not focus on serving myself - because Jesus has got that part covered (and WAY better than I could do!). Instead, I am FREE to live my life in service to others.

The apostle Paul put it this way: Now I have been set free from sin (selfishness!) and I have become a slave to God. This will make me holy and lead me to eternal life. Sin pays off with death. But the FREE gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus my Lord.

Take that, Selfish Monster!  

What about you? What kind of monsters do you keep hidden? How do you fight them?

What's In My...?

I need a fun theme song for this completely random and soon-to-be ongoing series called What's In My....?

in which I choose some sort of contained space in my house and tell you what's in it.

Today's inaugural post is What's In My Freezer?

are you waiting with baited breath to know?

First, a word on this series. I was inspired to do this after hearing a pastor challenge his congregation to write down literally everything they own. Down to the number of forks, the number of pairs of socks, etc.

That's a little scary, isn't it? I imagine I will be completely grossed out by knowing the exact number of items I actually possess. So I decided to catalog my life on a smaller scale, and, in the process, hopefully clean some of it out! And probably be a little surprised along the way.

Also, you should know that we have a standard size freezer above our refrigerator - nothing fancy or unusual. I mention this because the list below seems awfully long to me; yet, I wouldn't consider our freezer "full". I'm already feeling completely humbled by how much I have in such a "small" space!

Are you ready to be awed?

What's In My Freezer? as of 03/13/2013

3 unlabeled large yogurt containers - I'm guessing various soups from at least a year ago
1 box of Stonyfield YoKids strawberry squeezers
A 16oz beef ring bologna {definitely not going to eat this - any takers?}
3 ice packs
Tuscan Valley Veggie Medley - no idea where this came from
1 loaf of homemade banana bread
1 loaf of store-bought whole wheat bread
1 bag of green beans from last year's garden
1 bag of all-purpose flour
1 bag of rye flour
1 bag of soy flour
Applegate uncured chicken hot dogs
2 lb pork steak from a friend's family farm
2 lb ground beef from the same friend's family farm
20 oz ground turkey
4 chicken breasts
A family-sized serving of homemade creamy chicken wild rice soup
A family-sized serving of homemade barley cabbage soup
A family-sized serving of homemade taco soup
A bag of tilapia filets
homemade cranberry-pistachio oatmeal-quinoa cookies
Our favorite homemade chicken enchiladas (12)
1 bag of tortilla strips
1 angel food cake
a half-used bag of Dunkin' Donuts original blend coffee grounds
a bag of homemade baby food (apple-apricot-pear blend)
Smek meat and sauce lasagna - I believe this was given to us when Esme was born 7 months ago? 
9 oz breast milk
Maren's placenta
Esme's placenta

I bet you were bored and completely uninterested in my freezer until you read those last 2 items.

So what about you? What's the most interesting item in your freezer?

Oh, and I will accept theme song submissions through the end of the month!

Who Does That?!?

A friend of mine once had a job naming new clothing lines. Bonus: she named a turtleneck sweater The Devereaux and mailed one to me! 

Another friend used to get paid to sit at intersections and count cars (I think this had something to do with the effectiveness of traffic lights). 

Did you know there is actually an industry for retrieving golf balls from the pools of water on courses? Yes, you, too, could be a golf ball diver. Start a career as a chicken sexer. If you’d like to get paid to play on your ipad all day, consider being a furniture tester. 


Or, you could join forces with my husband and me and start a church.

What?!? Who does that?!? And - why?

The 21st century has clearly demonstrated that we are now living in a post-Christian culture, where the church in general, and the Christian faith in particular, no longer influence the culture at large. Four years ago, Newsweek declared “The End of Christian America” and chronicled the decline of the importance of Christianity in modern society. More recently, the Huffington Post describes the death of traditional Christianity while a generic spirituality is on the rise. 

So why, in these conditions, would anyone want to start a church? Isn’t God dead and the church irrelevant? Aren’t we doomed to offend people, or, worse, to fail?

Quite possibly. But our job on this earth is not to try and impress people or even to win them over to our way of thinking. Instead, we follow the call of Jesus to abide in him and bear the fruit of his Spirit. Starting a church is about making and maturing disciples of Jesus - proclaiming the good news in word and deed, drawing people to this life-with-Christ, and instructing people in his ways. It’s actually not at all, in any way, about us. 

We start churches because we love God and we take his command to love people seriously. 

We start churches because we are ruled by Christ’s love for us.
We are certain that if one person died for everyone else, then all of us have died. 

And Christ did die for all of us. He died so we would no longer live for ourselves, but for the one who died and was raised to life for us.
We are careful not to judge people by what they seem to be, though we once judged Christ in that way.
Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten and everything is new.
God has done it all! 

He sent Christ to make peace between himself and us, and he has given us the work of making peace between himself and others.
What we mean is that God was in Christ, offering peace and forgiveness to the people of this world.
And he has given us the work of sharing his message of peace. We have been sent to speak for Christ, and God is begging the world to listen to our message. We speak for Christ and sincerely, passionately, ask everyone to make peace with God. [paraphrase of Paul’s words to the Corinthian church]

I really don’t know what will happen on this church-planting adventure. I only know that I carry about a message of hope that people so desperately need. I know that my life doesn’t belong to me and that giving it away is the best chance I have at demonstrating the generosity of God. I know what it was to live without Jesus and I can testify to the unbelievable journey of what life with him is like. My job is to represent and re-present Jesus to everyone I meet; it’s his job to prove himself to them.

So what do you think? 

Are we crazy to start a church? Tell me why we shouldn't do it!

Want to know more? Contact me - we love sharing this HUGE vision!

Want to help us? Make a tax-deductible donation to the Devereaux-NYC Fund here.

Smile For No Good Reason

In honor of bringing my blog back to life, and in an attempt to be a little more light-hearted, today's post  is a collection of my go-to video clips that make me smile. When I know I have 5 random minutes in a day and I want to feel happy about the world, these are the videos I'll return to. You'll need about 30 minutes if you want to enjoy all of them in one sitting, so depending on how bored you are at work (and if you get sound), you may need to save these for later.

Smile today!

1. Even though this video is 7 years old, you are surely one of the 210 million viewers who started dancing in your living room to comedian Judson Laippley's Evolution of Dance routine. As a dancer, I have to admit that I am personally impressed by his physical stamina.   (6 minutes)

2.  Flash mobs are all the rage now, but weren't you amazed 4 years ago when over 200 dancers surprised patrons in Belgium's Central Station with Do Re Mi? Everyone just looks so happy in this video! (4 minutes)

3. Remember Susan Boyle? (still brings tears to my eyes, but that's not the video I'm sharing today) I LOVE surprise moments, especially when they make Simon Cowell change his snooty face into a somewhat cheery chap. I've never actually seen any of these shows - I just catch the clips online - but when this little girl opened her mouth, I swear I heard the angels in heaven. Also, I love her dad. (7.5 minutes)

4. And, my all-time favorite opening monologue at the Oscars. Not only do I think this is brilliant, but I love how he laughs at himself so much throughout the act. Some day, I will perform this in a talent show. I will not be as good. (7.5 minutes)

Runner-up: Beyonce's Single Ladies. Because it's Beyonce.

What happiness videos am I missing that you must introduce me to?

How I Spent My Winter Break

So it’s been over 4 months since I last posted. I’ve been sleeping in, enjoying breakfast in bed, soaking up personal massages, attending high-class wine tastings, jet-setting to my private island...just the usual winter break kind of things.

Ok, in reality, life took off for our family. As I mentioned last year, we are preparing to move to Brooklyn, NY to start a church. Maybe you think this is an easy thing to do?

Well, in one sense, it definitely is. We’ve clearly been called to this mission and when God is the one driving the bus, there’s really no stopping it. For the last 17 months, our focus has been unwaveringly centered on Jesus’ work in Brooklyn and we’ve received only encouragement after encouragement to head in this direction. Our sense of purpose and genuine excitement for this next adventure has provided a certain peace in the midst of the hard work of “getting there.”

On that note, though, it takes ALOT to move a family of four to the most expensive city in the union! We spent a little over 40 days this fall researching - typical utility bills, insurance plans (yikes!), average rent costs (triple yikes!!!) - and praying over all these needs. We’ve made lists, instituted weekly family meetings, written newsletters, continued remodeling the house (in preparation for sale), traveled to family out of state, and just started telling our story to as many people as possible. This - all of this - is a joy and a privilege and an astounding challenge.

At the same time, God has been incredibly gracious to us, and that’s why I’m writing again. He gave me a word for this year - a word to meditate on, to ask of him, and to put into practice. Lent just began and I’ve got a little project I’ve committed to. And I want to share how our journey is going, how we are traveling this road from Minneapolis to Greenpoint. 

Will you join me over the next 6 months as I reflect and rejoice (and maybe freak out a bit)? I’d love to know what you want to know about our story, so please leave comments and ask questions along the way. And I can’t wait to let you into the crazy, beautiful, abounding JOY of what God is doing in us. 

My plan is to post a personal story or thought once per week. Then, a second time that week, I’ll post something that’s inspiring me or makes me laugh or is just for fun. I hope you’ll come along!

Why I Make Art

Humans have been telling each other stories as long as we've been alive. We use words and images, fabrics and colors, music and rhythm, to explore and explain the world. Our world, our experience of it.

Stories connect us to one another, to the past and to our present reality. Stories cast visions of what we hope can be achieved and express the fears we wish to leave behind. Every great story speaks to a universal longing or expresses a truth common to our human existence.

Stories remind us of who we are, in our beautiful mess, and inspire us to press into one another with compassion and purpose.

As a Christian, I believe I am part of a much bigger story, an eternal story that is authored by a loving Creator. Made in his image, I, too, create and speak and honor this life in me, in you.

I make art because I don't want our stories to be forgotten or worse, ignored.
I make art because I believe that, without stories, this world would actually be more hateful and confusing and disappointing than it already is.
I make art because I believe in its power to communicate Truth and I believe we all need that Truth.

I make art because I have a story. I am a storyteller.

But I also make art because I must listen, be the witness to your story.


Currently, I am making art in Minneapolis with Sandbox Theatre. We will be presenting the story of Beatnik Giselle, an original ensemble-created work that examines how we can react to a world when it no longer represents us - our gender, our race, our sexuality, or our art. 

One exciting weekend to participate in this experience - October 19 - 21, 2012 at The Southern Theater
Purchase tickets here.
Learn how we make art collaboratively through the eyes of Sandbox newcomer and uberstudy, Evie on her Sandblog.
View rehearsal videos and fun on YouTube.
Follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook

A Tale of Two Mikes

Thirteen years ago, my husband Michael was in a band called Conduit. The band consisted of him and another guy named Mike, Mike's girlfriend Kristi, and an occasional drummer. The Mikes played acoustic guitars, covered Storyhill and Nanci Griffith songs, and checked into motels to spend unfettered time writing some pretty spectacular original songs together.

 Conduit, 1999. Front row: Michael (my hubby), Kristi,  the other Michael. Back: John the drummer

In the following year, Kristi was my personal attendant and Mike a groomsman in our wedding (we recessed to their beautiful performance of All I Want Is You); then, eight months later, my husband stood up as Mike's best man and I was their wedding planner.

Less than a year after we celebrated those wondrous days, we parted ways, as our friends shared in our church's first church plant. Around that time, my husband and I had begun sensing that God was also calling us to be church planters, but we agreed that this was not the time. We had our own adventures in ministry over the next four years, until we were blessed beyond measure to partner with another couple to start a church in 2006.

Despite their physical distance and separate ministries, the two Mikes stayed in contact over the years. Four years ago, a tragic event in the life of a mutual friend birthed another band, which served as a creative outlet and circle of support. As pastors, they also began meeting a few times a month to check in with and encourage one another. My husband has often referred to Mike as his soul-brother (since I, obviously, am his soul-mate).

And then, exactly one year ago today, during an ordinary morning coffee date, the Mikes shared an extraordinary conversation.

My husband had asked Mike about his recent trip, during which he helped facilitate some conversations and logistics of a church merger. Mike had felt very encouraged in his role, and just generally as a pastor, and shared some of his thoughts with my husband. And then, without planning or warning, Mike found himself saying, "What I really want to do, though, is plant a church with you."

In all their years of friendship, this idea had never been discussed between them, though my husband and I had always believed we would start another church, and this couple was in the forefront of our minds as ideal partners. So without hesitation, my husband affirmed Mike's desire and asked if he had any ideas or interest in a particular location. Mike immediately shared that he and Kristi had a longstanding love for New York City and had been, over the years, looking for an opportunity to minister there.

Now, my husband is a native of California, a lover of the great outdoors and wide open West. He's been to NYC a handful of times, and just two weeks before this meeting with Mike, he had specifically remarked to a friend that he'd "never want to live" there.

But the moment the words came out of Mike's mouth, my husband instantly and irrevocably could not imagine living anywhere else.

I'm not sure how long their conversation lasted, but the moment it ended, both men called their wives, shared this crazy thought, and received immediate (and joyful) YES!'s from both Kristi and me. By the end of the day, the four of us were emailing like giddy schoolchildren, all amazed and slightly afraid of the fact that, in just one conversation, we were suddenly convinced we would uproot our families, our lives, and our current ministries to pursue this God-sized idea.

Many, many more conversations with trusted friends and ministry partners over the last year, as well as two visits to New York City, have firmly convinced us that this is, indeed, what God is calling us to do.  Lord willing, we will all settle in Brooklyn one year from now.

~

Thirteen years ago, Michael introduced me to Jesus.
He introduced me to Mike, and to Kristi.
We got married. They got married.

None of us had any idea, those years ago, of the joys and disappointments, challenges and blessings, that our marriages and ministries would experience. Through multiple moves, churches, and family circumstances, we had no indication that, one day, in one moment!, the four of us would - seemingly out of nowhere - be called to join together in the adventure of a lifetime.

But GOD knew. He looked on us on our wedding days, watched us share in each other's celebrations, and KNEW the awesome plans that he had for us. Like a generous Father, he must have smiled at his secret and thought, "oh, you haven't seen nothin' yet."

~

So, what now? There is SO MUCH MORE to the story!

• Would you PRAY FOR US? Today, we are beginning 40 days of prayer and fasting. Contact me if you'd like to know specific requests during this time. 
• Can we share our vision with you? We love talking about God's work in and call on our lives. Contact me if you'd like to share a meal or a coffee date with us to hear all the exciting details, hopes, and plans that we have for NYC.
• And, you know, we'll be selling our house...soon. Contact me if you're looking for a great home in South Minneapolis!