Oh, Minnesota!

I like lists. They're an easy reference, an informative glance back at what I was thinking in a certain time and space.

I tend to think in lists, even if the items are never scribed to paper. And lately, as I prepare to move to New York City, I find myself mentally returning to two specific lists - what I anticipate I will and will not miss about Minneapolis. Twelve months from now, I wonder how accurate I'll find myself?

What I'm Glad to Leave Behind
1. Our crappy cars
2. Our house
3. Nine months of winter                                        
4. Passive-aggressive Scandinavians
5. The Mall of America
6. Improper grammatical use of the word "borrow"
7. Bad drivers (a consequence of #4)
8. Hot dishes, Duck-Duck-Greyduck, and pop (vs. the properly named casseroles, Duck-Duck-Goose, and soda)

What I Think I'll Miss 

1. My car

2. My house

3. Parks everywhere

4. Clean public transportation

5. Lakes everywhere

6. Seward Co-Op

7. Targets everywhere
8. Minnesota nice
 

What am I forgetting? What else should I be glad to leave behind? What will I wish I had with me?                                                                                                

                                                                                                

                                                                                                

                                                                                                

                                                                                               

                                                                                                

WORD! (for the year)

I’m an external processor.

That means I vomit a whole lot of meaningless stuff out of my mouth in order to get to the one small necessary kernel of importance. This may be one reason that I prefer to write letters to people when I have something pressing to say. The act of sitting down to write out my words requires intention and careful consideration, so I am able to filter my bluntness and weigh each syllable of thought. When I take the time to choose each word, I fill my speech with meaning. Otherwise, I’m just spewing the random - usually prideful - junk of my heart.

When God speaks, though, the words bring life. He spoke all of creation into existence. He spoke through his prophets to call his people back into right relationship with himself. And he himself, this very Word, became flesh and walked among us. When he rose from the dead, he gave us his Holy Spirit so that we might continue to hear him speak.

When God speaks, it’s all worth hearing.

Two years ago, during a January retreat, he spoke a word to my heart that I understood was meant to be processed over the course of that year. I received great joy, returning to that word over and over throughout those 12 months and learning more about myself and God’s will for me. In fact, late that summer, God spoke to me in a way that I hadn’t heard in quite a while - and gave me a HUGE new vision of what he had in store for us.

This January, I had the opportunity to attend another retreat, and I went expecting to hear a word from God again. Thankfully, he also planned to speak to me! During an afternoon time of worship, I opened my ears and listened to God sing over me. I heard him remind me of the truth of his character and the transforming work that he wants to do in me so that I can be more like him. This year, I believe that God wants me to know what it means to be      

GENEROUS

I was instantly humbled when I heard this word! I knew immediately that God was both inviting me to draw on the riches of his lavish love for me and calling me to give this treasure away. What a sweet cycle of generosity!

Since that retreat, I have had ample opportunity to reflect on how much God (has given, gives, and promises to give) me, as well as to flex my [very weak] giving muscles. I hope to share both of these with you in later posts. For now, though, I continue to pray:Lord, fill me up to the fulness of Christ so that I might give it all away!!  

What about you? What word or theme are you focusing on this year? What do you wish you were more intentional about?

What's Your Type?

A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don't know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox's or bear's, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.

~ Meister Eckhart

 
In addition to being obsessed with really cool space-saving furniture, I am also addicted to personality assessments! I love reflecting on various descriptions of myself and meditating on why I see the world - and engage with it - the way that I do. The more I study these profiles, the more I am able to understand and empathize with those around me and to work with them in a way that is mutually beneficial.

The important thing to remember about all assessments is that they do not measure trait, ability, or character; no type is inherently better than another and no type is distinctly masculine or feminine. Various societies, families, and traditions may value certain types over others (or expect certain genders to behave according to certain types), but the objective nature of each personality is not more or less "good".

Perhaps the most widely referenced assessment is the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. The MBTI identifies four preferences that inform an individual's perception and judgment: energy flow (Extroversion/Introversion), information gathering (Sensory/Intuition), decision making (Thinking/Feeling), and structuring one's world (Judging/Perceiving). The MBTI is not available for free but here is one site that provides an effective assessment. I highly recommend their profiles of the 16 personality types; even though I am familiar with all 16, I found their descriptions to be quite informative!

The PACE Color Palette is a complementary tool to the MBTI and focuses on the 4 temperaments, which closely correlate with preference combinations within the MBTI. This is most often used in educational or business settings and I have not been able to find a free online source for personal use.

I confess that I am not as familiar with the Enneagram assessment and have not officially taken one, though by reading the 9 descriptions and completing their free sample test, I can easily identify my basic personality type. The Enneagram, however, adds layers of complexity to this type by grouping personalities into three Centers (Thinking, Feeling, Instinctive) that revolve around emotional responses related to our core selves (Anxiety, Shame, Anger - respectively). The Enneagram also identifies wings - the "second side" of a personality, which complements it and adds important, sometimes contradictory, elements to your total personality. More recently, a few Enneagram instructors have added 9 Levels of Development to help understand how (un)healthy an individual is with respect to her personality. You could easily get lost on the Enneagram website if you wanted to read all of the information they make available and writing about all this makes me want to take a full version of the test!

While not a personality assessment, the Clifton Strengths Finder is one of the most exciting tools for appreciating and developing your innate talents. This test is actually based on positive psychology - focus on the good! - so if you find yourself discouraged by any of these other assessments, I encourage you to find someone able to help you process the results of the Strengths Finder and start exploring your gifts!

What am I missing? What assessments do you love that I didn't mention? 

And as to not keep those of you who were wondering in suspense, I am an ENTP, dominant red with streaks of green (PACE), The Challenger 8, with Ideation, Strategic, Activator, Input, and Command strengths.

What's your type?

What If?

 It's Easter and the church triumphantly declares, "He is risen!"

But what about everyone else? What are you thinking about today?

Church holidays always give me pause to think about those I love who are still on the outside - either by choice or simply because they just haven't met Jesus yet. In light of this, today's post is actually a revival from July 2009, in which I consider the gravity of ignoring God.

I’m a remarkably decisive person.  No second guessing or turning back once my mind is made up.  I’ll make my bed and gladly lie in it. 

But during the process of decision making, I like to play the “what if?” game, also known as “what’s the worst that could happen?”  If any of my decisions yield poor results, I simply stop moving in that direction and try something else.  But the idea of the best possible outcome is so exhilarating that it far outweighs the risks of failure. 

The what if? game isn’t just a tangential method of decision making.  It’s not just about imagining the potential outcomes; it also requires me to take action based on those possibilities.  And those actions speak volumes to my character, to my values – to my life. 

Today, I considered the account of Noah and the ark.  You know it, right?  God tells Noah to build this massive boat because a flood is coming to destroy the earth.  It’s kind of a big deal.  It takes Noah quite a while to build this thing, and it’s not like he could hide it in his back yard.  I mean, everyone saw him build it.  I’m sure they asked questions.  He couldn’t have been quiet about the impending doom – he must have warned the people that they would need to enter the ark to be saved. 

 
Noah appeared to be an absolute fool.  But…what if he wasn’t?  What if just a few more people had asked themselves…what if Noah is right? 

If Noah is wrong, then he calls out, “hey, the flood is coming, get in the ark”, everyone boards, they wait, nothing happens, then they all get out.  He becomes the village joke for generations, the ark is declared an historic monument, and he is ridiculed endlessly.  I admit, that’s not exactly the memory you want to leave with your family forever. 

But consider the alternative – what if Noah is right?  He declares the flood is coming, everyone takes shelter in the ark, it actually rains, and no one dies.  The entire human race is no longer completely obliterated.

As I reflected on this today, it saddened me.  The people – the ones who were destroyed in the flood – had no excuse.  The ark was right in front of them, the warning clearly given.  But they ignored it.  Or, they were too afraid to believe it because the potential risk of Noah being wrong, of the shame that might become theirs, was too much.  No one wanted to risk that Noah might have been right, and it cost them their lives.   

Blaise Pascal, famous for his groundbreaking mathematical concepts, also made an important theological realization.  He reasoned that it was better to wager that God actually existed because so living has everything to gain and nothing to lose. In other words, what if Jesus really is the savior of the world?  

This is actually why I decided to follow Jesus.  I had run out of arguments against him, even though I didn’t want to believe he was true.  But I figured that seeking him couldn’t make me a worse person, so I’d try it and see what happened.  And the fact is, if I’m wrong, I spent my life for a lie.  Which would be sad.  But if I’m right, then the glorious payoff that’s coming is unimaginable.  And the terrible destruction…well, that’s what saddens me today. 

A skeptic might ask, how can a good God execute vengeance at all? 

Do we question the goodness of a parent who, in the face of a disobedient child, cautions that punishment is coming and then effects that punishment when the child ignores the warning?  Friends, the ark is still being built, the warning is still being issued…and the message is still being ignored.

I pray that today, you will notice the "ark" that God has put before you and that you would hear him calling you, 
"Come in!  
Is anyone thirsty?
    Come and drink - even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free!
Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food.

Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.

See how I used him to display my power among the peoples. I made him a leader among the nations. You also will command nations you do not know and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey, because I, the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.

Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near.

Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.

Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously."

 

Resistance is Futile

Dear Toronto,

Next week, you will receive a very special gift. You didn't ask for it, so I suspect that you are wholly unprepared for what you're about to enjoy. I don't intend to ruin all the wonderful surprises in store for you, but I have a few important thoughts for your consideration.

First, a fair warning to all your babies: you will be held, snuggled, kissed, bounced, rocked, sung over, and abundantly loved. You're about to meet the All-Mama who adores every child like her own, scoops them into her arms and wraps them up with pure delight. Thankfully, she takes care of the mamas, too, with endless gifts of encouragement and perceptive insight (often paired with humor, humility, and food).

You may think you know how to have fun, Toronto. But you're about to be proven wrong. You're about to acquire a family that challenges the very limits of defining "a good time" in every way and at every opportunity. You're going to meet three ridiculously silly and creative kids who will effortlessly make you laugh until you pee your pants.

You will be welcomed into a new home, a house you thought you knew but, with these new inhabitants, you are going to discover with fresh appreciation. In fact, you're about to find your second family, your new BFF, and a couch (or entire room) permanently available for you to crash on.

You are gaining a Servant-Leader who will install your washer and dryer, rewire your house, shovel your sidewalk, and give you the shirt off his back - and that's just the first week you meet him. Then he'll take you to a totally inappropriate movie and let you bring it up for the next 3 years in attempts to embarrass him (which it won't).

All-Mama and Servant-Leader, dressed to impress

Toronto, you're about to meet Jesus in an unforgettably beautiful family who will force themselves into your heart and show you all their ugly warts and still make you fall in love with them. You'll be wholeheartedly invited into their mess of chaotic kids, half-eaten food on the counter, and spontaneous joy. You won't really know what hit you or how much you'll change until they're bidding you farewell (possibly with song and dance) -- and then you'll finally take a breath, and say a prayer of thanks, and wonder if your family will ever be as generous or as hospitable or as unaffectedly awesome as this one.

So take lots of pictures, ok? Make loads of memories that involve booty-shaking and inappropriate remarks, honest tears and hard work. Try, if you can, to outdo them in showing honor to one another in genuine love.  Learn from their solid hope and persevering spirit. Then wrap them up in the finest trimmings you have to offer and send them back safely.

Toronto, I'm sending you the best.

Since I didn't ask for permission to post these mug shots, I'm protecting the names of the (mostly) innocent

 
   
       

This Lent: I Threw It Away

The day before Lent started, I skimmed my Facebook news feed and saw a link that piqued my interest. Later, I Googled “40 Bags in 40 Days”, clicked on one result (which I confess I did not read all the way through), and then spontaneously made my own plan of action, which started a day “late.”

I’m not particularly good at planning ahead for holidays (see also: digging out my homemade Advent calendar a week late, then completely foregoing it a week later). But I appreciate the rhythms that certain spiritual seasons can bring, and I always spend some time reflecting throughout those days.

Last year, I meditated on my selfishness. That’s an ongoing process. In light of our upcoming move, it seemed fitting that this year’s focus would be on clearing out my house, not just my heart. I challenged myself to remove 40 bags worth of stuff from our 1400 square foot space during the 40 days of Lent.

I was excited to scour, room by room, space by space, hidden cupboards by forgotten drawers. I thought I’d finally feel motivated to tackle this - 

the Room Which Shall Not Be Named. Or Room of Avoidance. Also used as Room to Hide Gifts for Kids. I looked forward, at the end of the 40 days, to a less cluttered, more appealing home.

I started in the kitchen, which is my go-to location for clearing and cleaning. I had organized a garage sale last spring and the kitchen was the first place I had emptied, but I decided, for this project, I would literally remove every item from every cupboard in order to keep only what was necessary. It took me 2 days and I filled 4 bags of stuff that made its way to the trash/recycling. Our counter space is severely limited, but reducing the clutter in our cabinets allowed me to hide items we don’t use on a daily basis and to find new homes for random objects we keep on-hand. Success! [almost immediately, though, I realized I had forgotten to take before and after pictures! where would my evidence be???]

I kept up a good pace for the first 20 days, as I identified specific areas of the house - not just a room, but a corner of a room! - to clean out. I rejoiced as the bags filled up. I even inspired my husband in his own project, as he suddenly went on an ebay selling spree and made us over $4,000 in these 40 days.

Well, the best laid plans...

I could tell you how many days passed at a time without my hands busy at the plow (of bag-filling). And despite entering the Room of Avoidance - and clearing out 2 bags of stuff - it remains essentially unchanged.

But something else happened to me while I emptied my hutch and organized my sock drawer. I examined this mass of items that had accumulated and quickly, almost without thinking, tossed most of them aside. Why had I kept so many unused, broken, dirty, unnecessary things? Had I just been lazy or was it simple carelessness? Isn’t it disgusting how easy it is to find 40 BAGS worth of possessions that I just didn’t need?

Of course I immediately began to picture the impoverished children of the world who don’t even receive one solid meal a day. I remembered the tiny house with no roof where a Costa Rican family hosted me for a week. But more than that, I saw the state of my heart in all the junk of my house. I recognized how quickly the cares of the world enter into my life and choke the word of truth. I admitted that I had grown lazy in tending the soil of my heart, which was meant to receive the Word, grow up into it, and bear fruit. I realized that those 40 bags represented an entire mess of distraction from the beauty of Jesus.

As C.S. Lewis said, I am a half-hearted creature, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to me, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because she cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a vacation at the sea. I am far too easily pleased with STUFF and far too careless about cleaning it up in order to remain focused on CHRIST.

It’s been three years since I was first inspired to begin managing my home with a more godly mindset. Filling those bags this Lent - making my home a more welcoming and hospitable place - challenged me to wonder what needed to be changed so that my heart would also have more room for others. In the end, it wasn’t about the 40 bags at all, though I’m thankful for the (minor) headway I made in the house. Instead, the Holy Spirit showed me how much more work needs to be done in the really hidden places!

What about you? How did you spend your Lent? Maybe you can inspire me for next year!

In My Dreams

In the fall of 2010, I had this sudden, irresistible urge to downsize from our house to an apartment. All I could think about was having less space, less stuff to put in that space, living on less...less, less, and more less! I am now convinced that this was the prompting of the Holy Spirit, preparing me for our call to move from Minneapolis to New York City, and I have been itching ever since then to rid myself of this burden called home ownership.

Anyway, part of my obsession with downsizing has involved watching incredible videos about small spaces being transformed into multiple rooms. And the coveting has begun!

For example, this Hong Kong architect has 344 square feet of space that morphs into 24 different rooms!

This teacher has a 450 square foot apartment in Manhattan that is beautiful and works as 4 different spaces.

And this 420 square foot apartment in SoHo should be credited for awakening all my deepest design and space-saving dreams, as well as introducing me to my fantasy store, Resource Furniture.

I visit the Resource Furniture site about once a week and lust after all the innovative pieces. It is now my goal in life to figure out how I can possibly purchase The Goliath.

I am also in love with their sofas that conceal a queen-size bed (don't you plan to come visit me? wouldn't you love to sleep on this thing?).

And seriously, what kid wouldn't want to show off their Lollipop bunk bed?!?

If any of my readers are independently wealthy or exceedingly generous or have some connections at Resource Furniture, I am shamelessly asking you to make my dreams come true.

Or you can add to my unrealistic hopes by posting some more video links to awesome small space-saving designs that I will never afford.